A difficult conversation

My beautiful wife had the occasion to accompany me to work one day.  I asked her to bring her camera along in case she found anything of interest to be her subject.  The result of the experience, however, was a very difficult conversation.  She has given me permission to publish her photos to assist this narrative.

"Do you think she knows she pregnant?"


"I imagine that she does.  She's near full term.  I'm sure she feels them moving. It's hard to know how much of motherhood is cognitive and how much is instinctive in dogs.  Do you feel you could have known about your babies during your third trimester had you not been told?"

"Yes."

"This is the hard part for me because as I'm pulling the uterus out of the body, I can feel the babies."

"Do they move?"

"Sometimes."

"And sometimes I can see them through the uterus.  See, like this one's nose."

I watch as a tear falls down my wife's face.

"So how do they die?"

"Well, they are somewhat anesthetized from the drugs I've given their mother.  Often, especially early term, they die in utero from lack of blood supply.  The bigger ones we have to euthanize."

"Do you think they know....that they are dying?"

Another tear slowly follows the trail down her cheek left from the one before.  Her sadness fills the room.

"I don't think so.  I hope that they are very sleepy from the drugs."

"So perfectly made," She says through her tears.  "Do they go to heaven?"

Long.  Uncomfortable.  Pause.

"Do you believe that pets go to heaven?  Have you ever thought about it," I asked.

"Well, No I haven't thought about it."

Sadly, I was raised to believe that animals have no soul. I was taught that heaven was a place for the souls who believed in Jesus Christ.  I believe that my wife was raised similarly.

"Do you think that animals have a soul?"

"I don't know.  I think they can love and hate.  I think they can be kind and caring."

"Do you think they can know wrong from right?"

"Yes.  I think I've seen more soul in some animals than I have in some people."

"Me too."

"Do you think that animals have to believe in Christ to get to heaven?"

"I don't know.  Do you think maybe there's a separate place for them?  Like a dog heaven or cat heaven?"

"I don't think we can know.  We can only hope.  But if so, I'm sure these guys will be there, because they've done no wrong here."

"Yep.  It's not their fault.  Why didn't the owner just let her have them?"

"Well, babe, this owner has already taken two litters to the shelter this year.  And they were most likely euthanized.  It's pretty surprising that he's even getting this one spayed.  I would rather them go this way than the other."

"How often does this happen?"

"Every week.  In the summer, there are days we euthanize more babies than the number of dogs and cats walking out the door."

"That's horrible."

"I know.  It's a regional problem.  Can you believe that in places other than the southeast US they actually have to ship in strays to adopt because they have no stray animal problems.  They don't have things like kill shelters where hundreds die every month.  They don't do things like this."

"Wow.  It's so....preventable."

"Yes," as tears well up in my eyes.  "Yes, it is."